Before going to college, I was told by many I knew who had already been to college that these years would be the best of my life. Going in, I knew this was not guaranteed, but after COVID-19 canceled my senior year of high school, I was ready to embark on the next leg of my journey and finally experience this pivotal part of young adulthoodI had heard so much about.
However exciting or empowering this “best years of your life” statement was supposed to be, my inherently anxious brain immediately turned making the most of my college experience into a task I had to complete. The frustrating reality of losing a precious year of my “best four years” to COVID-19 only made me more determined to make the next three really count.
On social media, I constantly see posts of others’ college experiences and hear stories of my parents’ and family friends’ college experiences unmarred by COVID-19. I see posts and hear stories warning me to soak it up now because: “I will never get to live carefree with all of my best friends again.” This sentiment does not encourage growth; instead, it creates fear about graduating and what comes next.
But, most of all, I am scared for this time in my life to end. I am not ready to take on the burdens of financial stress, job stress and all that comes with “adulting.” The idea that your college years are the best of your life also comes with the assumption that after peaking at 22, the rest of your life is downhill from there, which is incredibly discouraging and deeply untrue.
We need to dismantle this messaging and reshape it. College is supposed to be a time of growth, and I have had a wonderful last three years at Smith. Was it everything I expected it to be when I imagined college as a child? Of course not. Has it been an impactful experience from which I have learned tremendously? Absolutely. I have had incredible classes where I have learned invaluable information and I have met wonderful friends with whom I hope to have lifelong bonds.
While I have had a positive college experience, I hope that these are not the best years of my life. I hope to get to “live carefree with all of my best friends” post-graduation, and maybe after that, my priorities and goals will change, as they tend to do. Or maybe not; Monica and Rachel lived together for ten years, right?
Either way, perhaps by removing the label and its associated pressure of the “best years of my life,” I will be able to better enjoy this unique time without feeling the need to make the most out of every second until the clock runs out and it’s all downhill.
I don’t know what the solution is. This sounds cliche, but perhaps we should simply try to live in the moment. I am trying to learn how to do this myself. Worrying that my college experience is going to end without me having accomplished everything I arbitrarily think I “should” have done has a paradoxical effect; it turns carefree years into stressful ones. I recently put up a message for myself on my door that says, “You have time.” It feels a little silly (I am not usually an affirmation post-notes person, though I aspire to be), but it is a good reminder to myself to slow down and enjoy it. Maybe that is oversimplifying, but perhaps it will help me.
I hope to look back at my time at Smith not as the best years of my life but as fun, formative years which will give me the needed tools for the next step in my life. I will use the skills I learned for even more formative years post-graduation–I have time. And who knows, maybe I will “live carefree with all of my best friends” in a senior living facility one day.
