The “Ick” is a recent-ish phenomenon, but one of the most relatable concepts that, I believe, has graced the internet and dating world in a while.
“Ick” is defined by Urban Dictionary as: “something someone does that is an instant turn-off for you, making you instantly hate the idea of being with them romantically.”
Before we delve into the list of icks that my friends and I have developed over a carefully curated joint Notes document, I have a few necessary footnotes to add.
First, despite what Urban Dictionary says, I do not think that icks are instant dealbreakers. You can tell from the ungodly long list of icks that I have that it would be impossible to find someone who avoids every single ick of mine. Everyone has their own icks, and as a hallmark of the “ick,” they must be personal to the icker.
Please do not be personally offended if one of these icks describes you or your partner. One of my friends’ partners proudly claims 37 of the icks on my list, and as brilliantly said by Jared Freid (comedian and podcaster), “One woman’s ick is another woman’s husband.”
Secondly, while some of my icks specifically reference men, the ick can be applied to any type of relationship, even platonic ones, in my opinion.
With that, I present to you my ultimate list of Icks:
- Business major.
- Being an entrepreneur just means you are unemployed.
- “Yo yo yo”
- Even one yo is distasteful, but three is just ridiculous and unwarranted.
- Cuffed capri pants.
- They are already cropped; this is completely unnecessary.
- Doesn’t read.
- Owning Adam Smith’s The Wealth of Nations for fun. (Leftover from GOV 100 does not count.)
- Picky eater.
- A picky but adaptable eater is a different story; this is describing a dino nuggets or nothing situation.
- “Doesn’t really watch TV.”
- Come on. At least say “I watch The Office” or something.
- Not wearing socks with shoes.
- Obviously, flip flip-flops do not count
- With that, we must add: flip-flop wearer (not at the beach) and slides wearer.
- Only wears hats backward.
- Even worse, only wearing one hat or the hat that sits on the top of their head. I hate to tell you, but this does not make you look taller.
- Talks about the family’s wealth.
- I feel this doesn’t need an explanation but I suppose a tasteful and critical discussion of wealth has its time and place.
- Air guitar.
- It’s impossible to make air guitar sexy — prove me wrong.
- Finger guns.
- See 10.
- PBR by choice.
- If you are at a party and free PBR is being handed out, go for it. If you are at a bar ordering a PBR unironically (though why would you order one ironically?) this is where the issue arises.
- Can’t unhook my bra.
- We deserve better.
- Has anything monogrammed.
- You are not Bethany Mota and it is not 2014.
Note: This is where I begin to get mean.
- Allergic to pollen.
- Now, what I mean is being incredibly dramatic about said pollen allergy, an allergy that arguably every human has to an extent.
- Only child.
- This is specific to me and based on prior negative experiences.
- Lies about their height on the roster.
- No, you are not 6’2.
- I would say I love the confidence but I really don’t.
- 3-in-1 shampoo
- I support cleanliness and I suppose this is economical, but is it worth it?
- DJ–for money or no money.
- DJ, ick. Paid DJ, ick. Unpaid DJ? Ick.
- Navy blue sheets.
- No explanation necessary.
- “Hehe”
- This is just so upsetting to me and there is no time nor place appropriate for a hehe.
- “Hehe” is for the girls.
- “Wicked.”
- I know we live in New England but this is just such a no for me.
- Weirdly puts on chapstick.
- Think–overly unscrewed, held like a microphone and applied slowly, and for a really long time over their mouth, upper and lower lips.
- Also puts on chapstick at inappropriate times (e.g. at the dinner table)
- Excessive punctuation in texts.
- “Hi! I am so sorry I haven’t texted you in three weeks, I have been SO swamped!! My life is just so busy!! What have you been up to?? I have been doing soooo much….”
- Pit vipers.
- Even worse if they’re worn upside down on their heads.
- Laundry pile in the room.
- If I am in your room and we are about to hook up and I see a pile of dirty laundry, or even laundry in general, I am immediately turned off.
- PSA, fold your laundry
- Drinks cow’s milk in a glass.
- I don’t feel this needs an explanation but if I must, drinking plain milk is disgusting over the age of six and there are alternatives for a reason.
- Tie-dye.
- I am trying to think of a situation in which a “tasteful tie dye” exists and I simply can’t.
- Uses Napster.
- See 16.
- “Looking for a gym buddy.”
- First of all, you aren’t, you just want to say you work out.
- Second, unless you are looking for an overly confident gym rat, stay away.
- Snapchat in the Instagram bio.
- It’s giving middle school or it’s giving “I send random nudes to strangers” vibes. What’s worse?
- Pre-workout.
- Similar to 32, but over caffeinated.
- Calls women females.
- Can we grow up?
- Doesn’t know the difference between there, their and they’re, or to and too, or your and you’re.
- Grammar is important and I will stand by that.
- Even worse if these grammar flaws are public and on social media.
- Doesn’t tip.
- We are classy here and we support our waitstaff.
- Only has one pillow.
- Incredibly univiting and It doesn’t give “I want someone else in my bed.” It also gives only child. See 16.
- Follows literal OnlyFans stars on social media.
- I’m here for sex positivity and empowerment, and if you think they are following said star in an empowering way, go for it, but 90% of the time, it’s degrading.
- Flags in Room.
- Flags are not decor.
- The American flag on the wall is giving insurrectionist.
- “Saturdays are for the boys flag” is simply false. Saturdays are not for the boys.
- Snaps a pic of his shoulder/corner face.
- What are you hiding?
- Only I am allowed to send half-face pics.
- Overly obsessed with video games.
- Even worse, those over-ear headphones with the microphone in them.
- Even more worse, a Snapchat with all of these things.
- From Staten Island.
- I am so sorry, it is just true.
- Josh Groban.
- By this, I mean if Josh Groban is brought up in conversation more than once, ever, we have an issue.
- Really into cars.
- As my econ major friend says, “Cars are not an asset.”
- This face 😐
- Honorable mention to :\
- Photo of fish in profile picture.
- We all know the fish, and personally, dangling a dead fish carcass doesn’t turn me on but to each their own.
- “Streaks.”
- Grow up.
- Still has a Harry Potter wand.
- See 16.
- Has one Spotify playlist.
- And it’s called 1.
- Running with a backpack on.
- Even worse if it’s the kind with a water bottle built-in with a really long straw.
- When you’re playing beer pong and you drop the ball and have to do a little run to pick it up.
- Sometimes this is impossible to avoid but this is icky and hard to get over.
- When you take a shot and have to sit down.
- Get it together and learn to take a shot.
- Takes off necklace/chain before hooking up with you.
- Your chain cannot be that valuable.
- Who do you think you are?
- Does the “Wolf of Wall Street” chest thing.
- See 1
- See 16
- If this is their favorite movie — RUN.
