Family weekend has just passed. Besides engaging in pumpkin carving, cider pressing, and attending Montage, you may also have taken your family member to the campus center and spent some time together there. At the CC, you can buy a steaming hot latte from the café, and then walk down the stairs to the bookstore. Here, your parents may want to buy a couple of Smith College fridge magnets or decals to decorate the kitchen. Your grandma may want to pick up a Smith mug and have her morning coffee with it. Most of all, you may want to buy a couple of pieces of Smith apparel for your family members; the tiny one with “my sister is a Smithie” may look cute on your smallest sibling, while your mom might proudly try on the “my daughter is a Smithie” T-shirt. Smith apparel — especially the ones targeted at family members — are great in many senses. However, I also perceive problems in the apparel aimed at family members and believe that it could be better.
One thing I like about our school’s apparel for family members is that they bring us to our family closer when we are studying here, as most of us are far away from home. They express pride, create a sense of celebration and build a connection between Smithies and those who are very important to us. They first and foremost celebrate our identities as Smithies and allow family members and loved ones to be proud. Buying your parents or partner some Smith apparel could also make them think of you and be proud. Knowing that your family members or partner think of you whenever they put those clothes on can soothe the loneliness any one of us may feel when we are far from our loved ones. Personally, I really like buying my family members those t-shirts and hoodies and enjoy the magical connection created by the apparel between my family members and myself.
Although I love the Smith family member apparel so much and consider them as actually meritorious, I still find them problematic and I know Smith can do better. Most of this problem derives from the slogan written on them. When I walked into Smith College bookstore for the first time, I discovered the corner where all clothes for Smith family members are displayed. In this corner of the room, clothes hung up on the wall all have slogans that are structured in the same way: “my daughter is a Smithie”; “my mom is a Smithie”; “my wife is a Smithie”; “my girlfriend is a Smithie”; “my grandma is a Smithie”; “my… is a Smithie,” etc. Those slogans appalled me the first time I looked at it. All of these slogans coming into focus together at the same moment, they made me feel that my life hasn’t really started but has already been defined: as a daughter, a wife and a grandmother in the far future. I felt like they are labeling me incessantly and keep telling me what my roles are, instead of appealing more to my personhood.
This feeling actually is not only created by the slogans, but also by the arrangement of the apparel. If we single out one of these items, it might be cute and may not bring about such a strong and appalling effect; but surrounded by piles of them, I felt like the term “Smithie” is undermined within the context. Whereas what is highlighted is our familial roles and our gender roles, as well as how our own identities are bound up in our relationship to other people. This apparel, all put together, demote the idea of the “self” of Smithies and pay too much attention to their roles. This is why I was stunned when I first stood amidst those clothes: I felt like I was being labeled as somebody’s daughter, partner, sister, but in that line of thinking, there is no room for my selfhood.
The effect the apparel currently has could be mitigated in a couple of different ways.. Firstly, by dispersing the clothes targeting the family members of Smithies throughout the store, though this might make family shopping harder, the feeling of being labeled the clothes create could be avoided. If we put “my daughter is a Smithie” right next to the door, while “my sister is a Smithie” slightly in front of the bookshelves, for example, the effect the apparel creates could be quite different. Smithies might not feel so intensely that they are being labeled and their identities are confined to several strictly defined roles when they look at the clothing.
However, ideally, I hope the apparel could be more Smithie-centered, since they are made for our family to celebrate our achievement of becoming Smithies. If the family member shirts sold in the bookstore focused more on ourselves instead of our roles in the family domain, that would be great. For example, we could change “my daughter is a Smithie” T-shirt to some other slogans that carry exactly the same meaning, like “Smithie’s mom,” or “Smith mom.” This could be more Smithie centered instead of centered around Smithies’ roles while also preserving the same sense of pride and celebration. This has the potential to make us feel like our accomplishments and identity as multifaceted, intelligent women are being celebrated, which we deserve and which should make our loved ones proud.
All this is to say, next family weekend, when I bring my family members to the campus bookstore to pick up a couple of Smith hoodies, I wish I could suggest my mom try on a “Smith mom” hoodie, letting her feel proud of being the mother of a Smithie — a remarkable group of people —than instead having a daughter who goes to Smith College. I wish I could buy my beloved little cousin a T-shirt written “Smithie’s sister” because we are as close as sisters. By doing that, the next time they wear their apparel together to celebrate my completion of another school year and my homecoming from overseas, I imagine I would feel really proud of my achievements at school and who I am, instead of being only reminded of my roles in the family. This is one of my greatest wishes, and I’m sure this is true of my family as well.
