It’s been a year and a half since I was accepted into Smith, nine months since I took my first college class, and three months since I first arrived on campus. As a first year during the pandemic, it feels like I started college in stages—last fall, I experienced a college-level workload. This semester, I lived on campus away from home for the first time, and next fall (knock on wood), I’ll finally have the full college experience: living on campus, going to classes, meetings, and performances in person. In a way, this gradual adjustment made for an easier and less abrupt introduction to college. But a year ago, the prospect of not getting to have a normal transition into college was devastating to me.
Last spring, when the pandemic was just starting, one of my biggest fears was that I was going to miss out on my first year of college. I worried that it would feel like a wasted year, and that I would end up only having three “real” years at Smith. I considered deferring at first, but I worried about losing momentum, so I ended up deciding to stay enrolled for the fall.
I have to admit, during my first semester, taking classes at Smith, I felt isolated. There were certainly efforts made by the college, my house, and other organizations on campus to welcome in the first years, but despite their best efforts, Zoom isn’t a conducive environment for fostering community. There was no chatting with my classmates before or after class, there were no nights staying up with friends in the library, trying (and most likely failing) to encourage each other to finish our work, and no lively meals shared together on Friday nights after a long week. We all did our best to connect with each other over Instagram and other social media platforms, but ultimately it just isn’t possible to get to know someone over text.
It was joining clubs that helped me feel more connected with the Smith community while I was still stuck at home. Don’t get me wrong, it was still strange trying to get to know people while on my fifth zoom call of the day, but it was the smaller group settings where I began to feel a part of the college community—where I began to feel like a Smithie!
Last fall was hard. My mental health suffered during the fall and early winter. I felt stagnant, like my life wasn’t moving forward. But once I was on campus, everything changed. Even though all of my classes were on Zoom, and other Covid restrictions limited many aspects of campus life, one key factor remained: I was at Smith. It felt like everything I had worked towards for the last four years was right in front of me. I was finally at college. Everything had fallen into place. I could finally make friends, for real this time, and have an in-person community. We’d all come up with creative ways to spend time together after a year of social distancing and Covid guidelines, so thinking of safe ways to hang out was easy for us. Once mild weather arrived in late March, my friends and I spent every single spare moment outside. I still struggled with leaving home and family behind for the first time, but overall my mental health improved once I was able to socialize and begin fostering lasting friendships.
I think there will always be a small part of me that is disappointed that my first year of college was so disrupted, and that an entire year of classes has been on Zoom. But at the same time, I am happy I didn’t defer. Ultimately I know that this year’s strange circumstances will only make me cherish my remaining three years at Smith even more, and I will never again take for granted the luxury of classroom learning. I don’t wish to invalidate anyone’s negative college experiences or discount all the disappointment I’ve felt over the past year. I just want to argue that the creativity that has sprung up as a result of so many restrictions is ultimately what allowed me to have what I would call, a fulfilling first year of college. Coming up with innovative solutions to the Covid restriction led to a uniquely satisfying spring semester where I got to have the classic social and residential experiences that I missed last fall.
You’ve probably heard this said a million times, (I know I have), so I apologize in advance for repeating it: those of us who started college this year have had an experience that no one will ever have again. We’ve had a wholly unique year, and since I’m already using cliches, I might as well say it: my first year of college is one I will never forget.
