A few weeks ago, during Thanksgiving break, I had the time to reflect on my first semester of college. It felt strange to all of a sudden have hours upon hours of the day opened up again. For those five days, I was free to do whatever I wanted—and it felt great. But it also felt weird. Something was off—I’d been so used to spending nearly every waking hour working on some kind of school-oriented assignment, that even when I had a few days to relax, I felt guilty simply because I wasn’t doing anything productive.
There it is. That word. Productive. It seems to rule our lives these days, whether you’re a high school student, an undergrad burdened with assignments, or a parent, loaded down with to-do list after to-do list. We’re so used to constantly having something to do, that if we find ourselves with a moment of free time, we feel as if we’re doing something wrong. It makes students feel, strangely, guilty. But guilty for what? Guilty for not spending every waking moment being productive?
I should be doing something right now…I’m sure we’ve all had that thought run through our heads at some time or another, whether it’s after a long day of essay writing, and we happen to have an extra half hour free before dinner, or whether it’s an hour after we’ve signed off for the day. That nagging little voice, telling us “couldn’t you work a little more on that project?”, or “you should start that essay tonight instead of tomorrow…”.
Where does it come from? This new, sudden, (and, notably, very American) mindset that pressures us to always be busy, to always be moving onto the next project or event. What happened to relaxation? What happened to “me time”? Sure, as college students, it’s inevitable that we will find ourselves spending most of our waking hours on schoolwork (in some cases ruining our sleep schedules), but what about the rare times when we do actually have a moment to spare? When I have a fifteen minute break between two afternoon classes, instead of using the time to get up, stretch, or maybe even go outside to refresh myself, I feel a desperate urge to use that minuscule chunk of time to immediately start on my next assignment, whether it’s due in a week or in two days. It feels like an obsession, like something I just can’t let go of.
As for the origins of this mindset, I most definitely do not have all of the answers. However, I do have a theory about one of the things that is exacerbating the issue, especially during a global pandemic. It’s this newly-dubbed “productivity culture”. (Apologies in advance, StudyTube.) Don’t get me wrong—one of the great wonders of the Internet is that you’re only ever a google search away from finding an article or a video full of tips for creating better study habits, writing essays, and, you guessed it, increasing your personal productivity. There’s even a whole corner of Youtube that’s made up entirely of content makers who offer studying tips and inspiration. Between Instagram and Youtube, it’s hard to avoid being inundated with not only tips on how you could be improving your work ethic, but also with images of other student influencers who seem to have everything together, all the time.
Now I just want to clarify that I don’t mean to discredit any of these admittedly very helpful sources (I myself am known to delve into the depths of StudyTube on occasion, looking for advice.) I just want to acknowledge that this constant bombardment of everything productivity-related does not ultimately help accomplish much in the end. What starts as inspiration to do better work can soon turn into pressure to perform better and get your entire life in order. This obsession with constant productivity, organization, and focus can actually cause more stress and anxiety. I, myself, have been victim to this kind of downward spiral, beginning with a quick video about productivity, and ending with feelings of complete inadequacy. It’s the same thing that happens with body image. It’s always wonderful to see people posting photos that they’re proud of and receiving the support they deserve, but spending too much time scrolling can quickly lead to comparing yourself to others. Ironically, the longer we spend trying to become more productive by watching these videos and following these influencers, the less productive we actually are. The humor of this is not lost on me. Absorbing productivity culture is…counterproductive?!
Sometimes I have to get real with myself. No matter how hard any of us try, it’s just not possible to be 100% focused and 100% productive, 100% of the time. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t work to find ways to improve these incredibly important aspects of studying, but if we set impossible goals and standards for ourselves, we’re only going to end up feeling insufficient. There will always be days when I just don’t have the energy to complete everything I need to do, just like there will always be days when my mind is clear and ready to get everything on my to-do lists done, and more. The goal should not be to self-deprecate on days when feelings of stagnation and exhaustion are overwhelming. The goal should instead be to be kinder to oneself on the harder days, and to feel proud on the good, “productive” days!
I also think it is important to remind ourselves that we can be productive by accomplishing the most menial of tasks. Productivity doesn’t have to mean getting everything done at once. So maybe you didn’t write your entire essay today—but hey, at least now you have a full outline! Rewarding ourselves for the small successes will give us the confidence and self-esteem we need to keep going, even on the hard days. And ultimately, sometimes we need to just suck it up and take a break. Even if it means more work for us to do tomorrow, because, sometimes, an afternoon nap and a few extra hours of sleep can give us more energy to complete that extra work the next day.
While the pandemic brought with it long periods of being confined to our homes, forcing a lot of us to slow down, there still remains in our society this pernicious “hustle culture” that keeps us obsessed with the idea of constantly being productive. Thanks to social media and the internet, there is now a fine line between browsing for advice and inspiration, and falling down the rabbit hole of comparing your life to the social media figures to whom you’ve gone to for said advice. Treading that line can be difficult, but it is important to learn how, for the sake of your own mental health. With only a few weeks left of the semester, as we all start to buckle down to complete our finals, I think it’s important to remember that we don’t need to measure our worth (academic or otherwise) on daily productivity. Sometimes the key to success is knowing when to close your laptop and take a break. Seriously.
Life doesn’t have to (and shouldn’t) be just one endless to-do list.
