Capricorn: “Let’s get this gluten-free bread!!”
Aquarius: A question for ppl named Natalie: Have u ever been called Noodalie??? Pls respond.
Pisces: (tenderly, as if dispensing ancient wisdom) “You just shut your mouth, ya know, and put a pillow over your face.”
Aries: “Girl I need your playlist!” (yelled at someone playing loud music that can be heard down the hall)
Taurus: (watching Twilight)
“I can’t believe their uniform is jorts.”
“Uniform for what?”
“Being a werewolf.”
Gemini: “I love exploiting the confessional.”
Cancer: “There were a LOT of lesbians — who knew??”
Leo: “Why is my face so red?”
“It’s probably because you just got your nose pierced.”
“No. I think it’s because I’m GAY.”
Virgo: (discussing the Kama Sutra) “There are so many words and not enough pussy!”
Libra: “Why are you mad?”
“Men.”
Scorpio: “Sometimes you just HAVE to go commando.”
Sagittarius: “Do YOU have lesbian fingers?”
