Aries: You will learn the true meaning of a two-week notice. If you’re thinking of taking a break from that work-study position or unpaid volunteer (a-hem, a-hem) fall internship, think again. This week, you’ll be caught in a push-and-pull relationship with forces that are much greater than you. Your one and only consolation and hope will be the gray cat that walks around campus with a leash.
Taurus: Stop bragging about how you’ve mastered the divvying up of planning and organization. Have some empathy for your friends who are still shook that summer is over, please.
Gemini: What’s stopping you from dropping everything and chasing your dreams? Fall break lasts three days, but who knows what you might discover in that time?
Cancer: Be a good neighbor and keep the music down and guests to a minimum. You’ve found your groove this year, and it’s exciting, but remember to be considerate.
Leo: You will be faced with a tough decision this week. Reruns of Downton Abbey or the new season of Orange is the New Black? Don’t worry, you have the strength and wisdom to make the right choice.
Virgo: At 4:00 a.m., you will wake up with the urge to update your resume and cover letter. It’s great that you’re already thinking about the future – embrace spontaneity.
Libra: Stop sending your 3:00 a.m. Vine compilations to your friends. Go to bed please. Your friends would like to catch up on their sleep as well.
Scorpio: Haters will drink their hatorade, but keep on shining.
Sagittarius: People admire and appreciate your thoughts and perspectives. Don’t be afraid to share your opinions and thoughts with the world. The pen is mightier than the sword.
Capricorn: Try the grilled chicken tender wrap with buffalo sauce and ranch dressing. While you’re there, get yourself a 16 oz. vanilla milkshake with whipped cream. Manage your stress by treating yourself.
Aquarius: Give your friends who are abroad a call, or better yet, write them a letter.
Pisces: Strangers will bare their souls to you this week. Don’t try to avoid that person’s head nod because you will run into them again, and they will tell you their life story. It’s fate.
